Oh herrrrrrrrow there!
I'm fairly certain this is the first JV blog to ever start with a photo of Kim Jong Il (albeit in puppet form, but still). And if it isn't the first JV blog to start this way, I'll be shocked and a little scared, but will nonetheless retract my claim at trying to do something original. But don't worry, Kim Jong Il means no harm, but only wants to welcome you back to my blog, after a month missing from action (again). He, and Alec Baldwin, would like to warmly welcome you back.
***
Thanks, Kim.
It's hard to imagine after an introduction from Kim, that I would actually have something serious I wanted to say. But alas, this is truly the case. And it's not because I'm having an emotional PMS episode or even because I'm making a sloppy drunk "I love you" proclamation. I promise everything after this line is a sincere reflection of my truest (sober) heart.
In JVC, we live without objects which many people take for granted on a daily basis. Soda. Clothes. Cars. Money. A bed that doesn't cause my joints to stiffen in the night. Cable TV (although we have recovered NBC, thank the lord).
Sure, it gets frustrating sometimes, especially when you attempt to Christmas shop on a budget and the cashier at Michael's rings you up at $102 in one pop -- which is, to be sure, exactly 102 percent of our monthly budget. You wish you could have some of the finer things back. But at the end of the day, none of that superficial stuff matters much. You find a way to make do. You opt for handmade gifts instead of new DVDs or BluRays.
Basically, I've learned to fill the void. But there's one void that will never be filled. What I've come to realize is that I don't really miss most of the stuff we don't have access to. Clothes: too much too wash. Cars: expensive. Cable TV: overrated. A bed and money-- okay, I really miss these things; I'll be honest.
But what I really miss are the people. I've come to realize that I've been incredibly lucky in my life to be surrounded with the world's most incredible and caring people. I've had a family that put my education above everything else. I've had friends who have been there at the drop of the hat.
With Thanksgiving already past, I realize that I'm about a month late with this list. But I would like to take a chance to thank those in my life who have always been there for me and who mean the world to me. It's about damn time that I told ya.
In no particular order:
1. Parents
First and foremost, I am so thankful for my parents. Over the last few weeks, I've seen many great and many not-so-great parents walk in and out of my office. What I've noticed is that the best parents are the ones who actually (*surprise*) pay attention to their children and put their children's needs above their own. They're the ones who walk into my office with holes in their jackets, but then I look down and see that the kids are running around in a new pair of sneakers. Those are my parents. I've never received flowers or candy at work from a boy... but I can now say that I've gotten them from my mom. And I'm not embarrassed at all to admit it. It was enough for me to know that my mom was thinking about me and excited for me to come home (probably almost as much as I am excited to come home). It's nice to know that when I call crying at 10 p.m. (true story), I can always have somebody on the other end tell me, "It'll be better tomorrow."
2. Ryan
I'm going to take a page out of Chick Flick romance and thank Ryan, simply for putting up with all my crap each and every day. I know he gets the brunt of my frustration, but no matter how many times I push him away, he never seems to budge. When I've given up on work, Phoenix or, god forbid, on us -- somehow he's already standing in the ring waiting for the next round. I've found someone that understands the way my mind works better than I can understand it myself -- sometimes to my great frustration and even greater jealousy. I'm so lucky to have found someone who I know isn't going anywhere. I've learned from my clients that love and family isn't easy and there are many, many kinds of "bad" relationships. And I count myself lucky to be in one that I know is a "good" relationship. I know I've found someone who won't walk out when it gets difficult and I'm glad that I'm along for the ride.
3. Heyyyyy brother
My brother -- for actually understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth, when everybody else looks at me and wonders, "Huh?" I know this is going to sound strange, but Troy reminds me to have fun and to not bother caring what other people think along the way. I don't know anybody who is a truer version of himself than my brother. I can still remember him dressing me up in a Star Trek uniform when I was 3-years-old and plopping me down on a chair while he directed me on the family video camera, shaking the camera to make it look as if we were under attack and I was falling out of the captain's chair, as the ship fell apart around us. My brother is who he is and everybody else be damned if they don't like it. Thanks for being my role model and teaching me to be myself -- and for turning me into a mini boy with estrogen.
4. IDK, my BFF Becky?
I feel as if I don't even have to write anything in this space because she probably knows exactly what I'm thinking and would be able to write it ten times better than I ever could. I love you, Chewy. You and that fake brain tumor you got rolling around in there.
5. TSC.
That's right, Aly-saw, Kav, Rati, Sam, Kurtis, Woody, Ian, Pinky (and maybe even Erkel... a little). I've never had a group of friends that I considered to be a family, until I randomly got paired with you guys in the hell hole that was that newspaper room. It's true -- we've got issues. Thanks to Facebook, I stumbled upon some of the pictures from the newspaper conference and from our many TSC party adventures. I nearly keeled over laughing, not so much from the photos themselves, but from the novel-length discussions we had in the comments below them. I realized just how lucky I was to have been able to spend and an entire school year with ya. We spent so many long hours together and I wouldn't trade any one of them in for anything. I love you guys and miss you so much. I will gladly host a TSC(4?) party at my house. Kurt, you're 21 now. Time for you to taste alcohol.
6. To my Franktown Family, Mrs. White, Mrs. Lawrence... and I'm also going to include the Suhr family among those ranks.
Thank you for taking care of me even when I'm not at home. I cannot begin to describe how much it means to me when I open up my mail and see a cute little card or an epic care package that has been artfully decorated by a 5-year-old. Thanks for bringing a little bit of home to Phoenix. And Mrs. Lawrence, thanks for giving me a home here in Phoenix -- for hosting dinner, and for sending me home with the greatest Christmas goodies known to stomachs everywhere. I've hung each and every card or note I've received over my bed -- each is a constant reminder that I am surrounded with the best friends and family imaginable.
7. Benj and Gwen.
Thanks for not thinking I'm crazy for wanting to move to Arizona. I get so excited every time I see a card in the mail with your handwriting. And the care package you sent was enough to make all of my housemates want to thank you as well. At this point, I think all my housemates would call you their favorite aunts. I love receiving your cards; they too are hanging above my bed. I just cannot believe how lucky I am.
8. Casa Truth and Casa Bart.
I'm not going to write anything here. Fill it in yourselves, you jerks (who I love).
9. My clients.
Over the last few months, I've been exposed to people from all walks of life, some of them whom I understand, others who will continue to confuse me until the day I leave. I'm so grateful for each and every person who has walked into my office. And I can honestly say that I've learned something from each and every one of them. Talking to Ryan on the phone last night, I realized that they have opened my eyes to so many different realities -- many of which I would have considered weird or crazy in the past. But now just seem normal. To my clients, that's for making crazy the new normal and for continuing to have hope.
10. To everybody else who has supported me over the last few weeks, both back at home in Colorado and California, as well as here in Phoenix.
I've come to realize that despite being without many things this year, I have one thing that most of my clients do not have. It isn't anything tangible -- it isn't a house; it isn't a job. Instead it's the undying love of a strong support system. When my clients enter the shelter, they all share one thing in common: they have nowhere else to go. They come to our doorstep because they have no other support — often because friends and family simply turned their backs when they needed them the most. It’s when homeless families tell me these heartbreaking stories that I become grateful for what I have: 4 great housemates who give me strength when I’m feeling most depressed; and loving family and friends who I know would never desert me when I most needed them.While they are simple sentiments, when I receive those quick notes, cards, care packages or phone calls from a friend of family member, it's enough to remind me that the greatest gift we have is each other. And I am blessed to know each and every one of you.
Thank you for everything.
